June 14, 2015

Life transitions

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What’s life without a good food with the ones you love…a beer never hurts either…!!!

 


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We’re missing one kiddo in this pic but I know he’ll be with us sooner than soon!!!

 

 

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Becoming a parent was something I had been eager to accomplish for a while. I remember I wanted to have children two weeks after having met my husband. I remember as soon as I met him, he showed me pictures of his son (he has a son from a previous marriage) and the way his face lit up whenever he spoke of his little boy melted my heart. Over the years, I was able to experience first hand the bond he had with this boy. How his world revolved around this little person, how he worked so hard day after day to provide for him. I never considered being a parent before this. My career and my studies were my life. I feel these two people (my husband and my stepson) changed that mind frame for me. I started thinking “what the hell am I working so hard for if not to provide for someone other than myself?” I wanted to feel that connection, the kind everyone always told me “once you have your kids, it changes everything, you’ll see”. It scared me but I wanted it.

Throughout our marriage, we have had many ups and downs. Job losses, inability to conceive, deaths in the family, absent parents, supportive family members, unions, births. The whole she-bang. It wasn’t until about a year ago where we really hit hard times. We were faced with the decision to stay where we were and continue to struggle financially (my husband had lost his employment) or relocate to a place we had only vacationed before. It was hard on both of us but I know it was that much harder for him: he was leaving his first born behind. I don’t know if I would’ve been as empathetic as I have been had I not had my own child. I could never bear the thought of being away from my son. It kills me to even think about it. It saddens me as well the fact that my son and his brother are apart. My stepson gave me the chance to see what I could be as a mom and he fueled my desire to bring life into this world. Even after I was told I wouldn’t be able to.

The thing about all the aforementioned is that transitions are difficult to deal with. It’s difficult to accept that sometimes we have to break away (not forever, mind you) in order to find our own place, to be able to be better, grow, mature, thrive. I’m at a point in my life where I don’t feel the need to fight change. I’ve been afraid of it for too long. And maybe it’s hindered my ability to become something better. Someone happier. I’ve been through many difficult situations in life and I feel like I’ve had to battle my way to get to where I am, personally and professionally. I don’t feel the need to do that anymore. Because of my son. Because of my stepson. Because of my family. I feel that every fear I have ever had about anything I can now use it as fuel to push forward and face whatever’s in my way, head-on. Transitional situations don’t define us: they offer us the opportunity to choose. Will we focus on what’s left behind or what is lying ahead in order to be better for ourselves and the ones we love…?

Until next time, thanks for stopping by and don’t be shy about sharing your thoughts!

 

XOXO,

 

Raquel

Banana Republic tank top 

Forever 21 bag

Here are some other cute options for green skirts and gladiator sandals I just love!

 

 

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