June 8, 2016

Looking past the flaws (post partum edition)

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Post partum realness strikes like a hot spank. Any mom can attest to how difficult it can be to deal with the many facets of giving birth to a child and suddenly finding yourself at a loss for words to describe all the changes our bodies experience in the blink of an eye. It is incredibly overwhelming, unbelievably bittersweet and amazingly empowering – all at the same time.

I share this snapshot above with you all for a reason: for the past 22 months I have experienced major hair loss- due to having breastfed my son mainly, but also from the stress that accompanies post partum and that “new parent” groove you’re trying to get used to. I have been insanely self-conscious over the fact that I have had to deal with hair loss. When my husband took this picture, I said “Oh my God I can’t post this on social media! Look at that bald spot! It’s so embarrasing! I’m deleting it.” I remember my husband looking at me and saying “you’re beautiful, you’re a mom and you’re body has gone through so much. Give yourself some credit for all you’ve done because we sure do, everyday.” I swear I wanted to cry. It was all I needed to hear.

All my life, I was the girl with super thick, wavy and lustrous hair. It reached maximum, Pantene- level status during my pregnancy and the compliments were never ending. And my skin, don’t even get me started- best it’s ever been. Alas, all that went to hell once I gave birth and I have been feeling some sort of way about it up until now. I’ve been kind of tired of all the self- battering I continually put my mind through with how I am “supposed to look”. The pressure is at times ridiculous, especially with us moms. The skin, the body, the hair- sometimes it’s too much. So I decided I need a pause. I need to accept these changes, let them sink in, invite them to show me how to deal with them in a healthy way. I need to reset my train of thought or else it’s just a never ending cycle of insecurity. It’s difficult at times to put into perspective all that my body has gone through; the process is at times┬ámentally draining and there are days I wish I had my old body back – fit, lean, un-flabby. Well, who says I can’t have that again someday? My reality right now is this: I will work for what I want but I will not obsess over it as I did before. It’s okay to be at peace with my new body because this new body is a testament to what it was able to do and the aftermath of the entire process brought me a gift greater than anything I will ever have: Life.

Mommas, remember to focus on being happy, being at peace with yourselves and just try your best. Treat your flaws with love and accept them with grace. You are more than these flaws and they do not define you. Find strength and courage in them and teach your little ones to do the same because one day they will need that same strength and they will thank you for having taught them to do so.


All my love,


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  1. This is amazing! And when I saw this picture on Instgram I couldn’t even pick out a flaw in it. I would have NEVER even noticed. You are so beautiful and this is so beautifully written. I have the same struggles with the new cellulite that no matter how much I work out now has called my body home ­čÖü

    • littlerayoflight says:

      Thanks so much sweet friend. I have those issues to get/work on so the important thing is to focus on staying healthy (physically and mentally) because our lil ones deserve that.

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